lie awake at night

War Begins....
After two month of practice,
tomolo we're going to present in front of everyone,
i am happy coz i got chance to present malaysia's
famous song : RASA SAYANG!!
feeling nice when practicing the song with japanese.
You'll never know that they sing this song really well.
But, what i am worry about is:
standing in front of audience,
i will loss my voice,
juz like usual.
でも、自分がどこまでできるか、できるところまでやって見ます！！
よし！
may God bless me...
Wish me good luck...

IF....
If i were a robot, i could do homework without feeling tired...
If i dun need to sleep, i could own my 24 hours fully....
If i were a genius, i could understand faster than others do....
If i were God, i could stop the time, or even turn back the time....

too much thing to do, but how come i still got time to think craps thing.
homework,
revision,
new topic,
too much, too much!!

but still, i enjoy the moment i laid on the bed,
thinking rubbish thing,

If i were a stupid guy, i could live a simple life...
eat, sleep, eat, sleep....
How nice～～～

忆当时～～
看见班上的糊涂大王，
打翻黑板擦，
把老师的裤子弄得
"花花绿绿"，
仿佛看见当时的我........

回忆.........
把我带入记忆的旋涡里........

你们是否记得
那年惨绿的颜色，
打赢了中四的那次兴奋，
还印在左背的内侧
学员榜首之争，
今日越洋的慰问，
谁偷写情书给那邻校女生，
谁偷走我们的书生?

那一年
我将背影留给你们，
敲着黄昏的钟声阵阵，
谁会遗忘萤火映照的泪痕
那一年
我将背影留给你们，
不再掉泪，披著梦和忧郁，
留给岁月一个天真男生。

昨天朋友寄来祝贺，
想起那年的骊歌，
到过的海岸和那微雨的早晨，
我卖弄琴声的黄昏，
还记得那棵大树落叶纷纷，
我假装不懂她的眼神。

你们是否记得，
为你们唱过的歌，
每一首都在为那青春认真，
没答案还是要问，
收拾行装才发现，
说说唱唱之间，
原来已经为年轻留下一张
沦落分明的脸，

这一年
我将背影留给你们，
这样你将永远记得，
曾经拥有永恒，
原来是永恒的笑声
这一年
我将背影留给你们，
因为我有更远的路程，
留给记忆一个骄傲男生。

力量? 智慧? 速度? 运气?
如果把自己比喻为一名战士，
那么在求学这一条战争的路途上，
自己是扮演着什么样的角色呢?

横冲直撞，无惧一切考验的力量型?
逆来顺受，见招拆招的智慧型?
捷足先登，总是走在前线的速度型?
一切随缘，见风转托的运气型?

自问自己并没有:
勇气去接受挑战，
诸葛孔明的头脑，
自动自发的学习心，
4减3，
无可否认，自己便是那靠运气的小子。

有运气，
自然不是一件坏事。

只是，
我讨厌这样的自己，
再来的日子，
我绝不想再这样下去，
我想为自己加些
力量，智慧，速度，
当一个全能，
完美型的战士!

shooting star
now is 3.00am.
Juz wake up from sleep.
start sleeping at 8.00pm., wake up now.
it has been a while i have not wake up in midnight like this.
Coz,
i always stay awake til midnight, not wake up in midnight.......
walking around, some japanese still watching tv, some bathing.
Now, sitting in front of my desk, look out of the window as i always do. Dunno what to do.
For the first time, i felt so tired.
Everyday got homework, rushing for class, dun even have the time of feeling tired like now.
Looking back, 何もない。
i always thinking: How is the world without me?
世界依然继续它的脚步，不管谁醒着，睡着，
不管谁来了，谁走了........
trying to make the world stops, tat's wat i trying to do since i was a child.
and now, feeling tired of all this.
What should i do?!!!?

无怨?无悔?
望着墙上的钟，
滴答滴答，
忘记一道伤痛，
究竟还要多久?
相遇若是因为"缘"字，
那，
分手又是?

想起我们最大的错，
是否就是相遇那一天----擦肩而过。

我像是个可有可无的影子，
叫“陪伴”，
陪着“寂寞”，
数着岁月中的那几颗星星，
想起之间的点点滴滴，
无言?无语?
种种的付出，
能否,
无怨?无悔?

人生初の３８％～～
Got my 代数 paper d.
As wat i expected, bad result.
i never get this kind of mark, 38%
Hohoho, "take it easy", my frens advise.
This is my result:













How? nice paper, right?
Dun worry, i will frame it up.
this is too meaningful for me.....

一个3，一个8，
一连串的联想，
3月8日出身的朋友，
3月8日的妇女节，
3838，妈妈中马票的号码，
6744538，朋友的手机号码，
对于我，
38并没有多大的意义，
不曾讨厌，不曾欢喜它，
如今，
38，在我心上刻下一道伤口，
永远的痛楚，
轻轻的抓了一把雪花，
撒在伤口上，
希望能掩盖这伤口，
才发现，
雪花融化了，
心里的痛，热血，在意，
使这道伤口永远无法痊愈，隐隐作痛，
告诉自己，
试着忘记，
生命中不曾有它的出现，
也警惕自己，
再来的日子里，
不能在容许它的出现。
我要开始忘记3和8

before doomed.....
8.15a.m. i juz had my dinner.
45minutes before i get my 代数 result.
I juz hope tat it is not too bad, i will satisfy if i get 50%.
hehe, pretty low target, right?
after getting good result for three days.
Now, this is my punishment time.
May God bless me...........

Nice!!
Wake up in the morning, i got a sense tat today will be a nice day!!
it absolutely is!!!
everything went smoothly today, i was on duty today. To write class diary(more like a report, which had to be pass up in the end of class) No absent, no special incident, it juz like wat japanese said: 平和な一日.
here's my result today:
英語A ：96%
工業力学：90%
材料学 ：100%
i m satisfied wif my result, not to said excellent coz there is someone better than me.
For 工力, i can said i can answer all questions.
Juz becoz of my careless( put + to be -, and - to be+), i lost 10 morks, if not.........
maa.......
anyway, i was happy today.
no one sad, everyone happy, haha!!!
i can still be happy til thursday, before i get my worst subject.
So, juz be HAPPY today!!!!

人生海海
有一天我在想我到底算是个什么东西
还是我会不会根本就不算东西
天天都漫无目的
偏偏又想要证明真理
别人从屁股放屁
我却每天每天都说要革命

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

常常我豁出去
拚了命
走过却没有痕迹
可是我从不怕挖出我火热的心
手上有一个硬币
反面就决定放弃嗝屁
但是啊在我心底却
完完全全不想放弃

常常我闭上眼睛
听到了海的呼吸
是你温柔的蓝色潮汐
告诉我没有关系

就算真的整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
我不能忘记
无论是我的明天要去哪里
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

啦啦啦啦啦啦
明天我在哪里～～～

a short day...

It's another short day. time pass away too fast.

2.00a.m. i juz finish doing my homework. dun feel like wan to sleep.
i closed my eyes, think back on wat had happen today.

9.00am , i got my first exam result. As wat i thought, an easy paper, to get 100%is not a hard job.
i'd did it. but, not for others.
i m not happy at all, the guy sit in front of me, got bad result. i can see tear in his eyes, even he didnt cry.
i'd experienced wat he feel now be4. i know the pain, tat's why!
"gambare"is all i can say to him. hoping tat will ease the pain a bit.

2.30p.m got my second paper, 89 for my bisekibun, 80.2 is the average mark.
But still, i not satisfied wif it, i know i could have do better than now.
careless mistake, all i can say to myself.
2 people in my class get 100% for this subject. one of them is my tutor.
i wanna be one of them, and i tell myself, i can do it!!!!
next time, u'll know!!!

4.30p.m glee club rensyu.
teacher got special present for me n mayc, rasa sayange, a famous malaysia song, and we are going to present it in bunka happyoukai.
Happy to hear, japanese student sing it!!! haha, although its a bit mazui.....
３月９日---a new song for me, this one oso we going to present it in bunpatsu.
i really like tis song!!
a song where secondary school student wiil sing in their last day in school.

10p.m japan vs australia
surprise to see my tutor ask me to watch it togather.
i went. sadly, japan lose the match.
the last 6 minutes is the turning point. Everything changed in this short time.
6 minutes 3 goals!! can u imagine it?
From 0-1 to 3-1. Nobody expect it!!
It reminds me of my life........
a short day, sad, happy, everything!!

3月9日

流れる季節の真ん中で

ふと日の長さを感じます

せわしく過ぎる日々の中に

私とあなたで夢を描く

3月の風に想いをのせて

桜のつぼみは春へとつづきます

溢れ出す光の粒が

少しずつ朝を暖めます

大きなあくびをした後に

少し照れてるあなたの横で

新たな世界の入口に立ち

気づいたことは 1人じゃないってこと

瞳を閉じれば あなたが

まぶたのうらに いることで

どれほど強くなれたでしょう

あなたにとって私も そうでありたい

砂ぼこり運ぶ つむじ風

洗濯物に絡まりますが

昼前の空の白い月は

なんだかきれいで 見とれました

上手くはいかぬこともあるけれど

天を仰げば それさえ小さくて

青い空は凛と澄んで

羊雲は静かに揺れる

花咲くを待つ喜びを

分かち合えるのであれば それは幸せ

この先も 隣で そっと微笑んで

瞳を閉じれば あなたが

まぶたのうらに いることで

どれほど強くなれたでしょう

あなたにとって私も そうでありたい

exam over!!!!
after one week struggling, exam finally over.......
some people worry about result,
some people keep the momentum goes on,
some relaxing themself.
for me, i still busy with my homework.
seizu, kikaikakou, koujyoujissyuu, n ........a lot!!!
as a foreign student, compare to japanese student, i got much much more to do,
more homework, more studies, much more to learn.
so, i tell myself not to relax, but oso not to push myself too hard, and keep the spirit on!!!
my family thought i'm too tension wif my studies, i had push myself too hard,
my friends worried someday i might 崩溃
but to tell the truth, i really enjoy myself now, in this small school, in akashi, in this country.
b'coz i know i got a lot of thing to learn,
a lot of homework----i might be complaint to someone, but i never bored wif it!!
i did like my new self now!!! REALLY!!!

塞翁失马
俗语说：情场失意，赌场得意。
我说：昨天失意，今天得意。
哈哈!昨天的失败，换来的是今天的成功。
今天考的是机构学(mechanisme) -----一科说容易不容易的科目。
看到考试题目后，还真的差点笑出来，和pass year question 大同小异，只是换了些数字及多加了一题罢了。。。

so.......
只要多加小心，不犯计算错误，一百分就如囊中物。
一犯错，骨牌效应，一接一倒下，嘿嘿，想哭都没眼泪呢。
所以，今天的我，虽然脑细胞死了不少(计算全都有小数点)，不过倒考了一科不错的成绩だろう。
希望这好景能继续维持下去吧。。。。。
明日も頑張ります！！！！

第一次的无助!!!
For the first time in my life, i feel that number is so scary......
Until now, no matter what number that came in front of me, i feel nothing.
No matter it is 1426267+12541×7638÷7356=?
or number more complex than that, i can juz solve it.
But now, 代数(linear algebra) really really kill me.
all simple number but dunno why, i juz cant solve it.
today's exam, once i get my paper, my hand started to sweat.
i remembered tat i have studied all this question, but dunno why, i juz cant answer....
i dun understand those question in japanese? tat's wat i trying to lie to myself.....
NO!! i understand what the question wants.
but to imagine vector in 3D and to understand wat is matrix is not easy.
1 hours 30 minutes paper,
i can say tat 40% of the time, i was looking at the clock, 看着时间一秒一秒地过, doing nothing because i cant answer the question at all, and because of that a lot of miscalcurate came out,
2-(-1)=1???
wat the hell i am doing!!!???
oh my god, now when i looking back on wat i have done, ...........无言.........
untill i get my result, i could only pray for miracle.....
please..............................let the sensei mark my paper wrongly!!!!

上网
在这繁忙的考试周里，每天都得复习不一样的科目以应付每一天的考试。日子过得再也没有比这更忙的了。然而尽管在这么忙的日子里，我还是尽量地抽出了一些时间上网，打开messenger 。
有时，朋友们会问到：哇塞!考试周还能上网，你是不是很有自信啊? 咦?天天看到你的?吃饱没事做啊? 你考试一百分啦?
其实，有谁会吃饱没事做，天天上网呢?
就算有时间也拿来打机啦。。。。
我上的目的非常简单，
无疑只是希望见到一些名字出现在自己的messenger 里，知道他们的近况。
而，最高兴的，无疑是收到朋友的祝福：考试顺利! 马到功成!Gambate!!!
虽然只是短短的一句，却能感受到它的温暖。


when a message is sent from a distance,
u cannot see care,
u cannot hear care,
but u can sense care.


因此，上网时，千万不要吝啬于自己的祝福，
见到我时，记得给我打个招呼：一个 "嗨"，或是一个"yo "! 谢啦!!!

再冲刺!!!
经过了一整天的松懈后，终于有得再为考试而作出准备了。
这一次，自然是作好了全盘计划啦。。。
------今天及明天内，我要把这一星期内要考的科目全部复习完毕。
可是，
偏偏便在今早便犯了最大的错误------赖床!!!
醒来时，已经是11点了!!!
天啊! 果然是万事起头难。。。。
这一整天，自然难熬了
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。然而，经过了一整天的奋斗后，总算把预定中3分之2的计划完成了。
接下来，我还有5个小时来完成最后的复习。算是绰绰有余吧!
huh.....希望明天不要再赖床了。

短暂的和平.........
考完了今天的最后一张paper 后，松了一口气。
想起第一张paper ，制图----哈哈!!有一半的题目没回答，第一次这么惨。。。想到便心痛。读到半夜两三点，到头来还是回答不出，(早知到，早睡更好!)

不过，接下来的微积分倒算是给自己打了一支止痛剂。
哈哈，今天算是考了个75分吧。。。。
紧接下来的，是两天的和平，短暂的休息，
人生苦短，享乐至上，

所以，我决定了
------今天不读书，玩个痛快!!!!
首先，先睡个午觉，醒醒神。(hoho!!!)